crime doesn't pay

By the end of the video if feel so sad for the guy. It is actually  kind of depressing to see how this guy fails so easily.

aesthetics shaman vs. esthetics researcher

she said, "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

i said,"i dont know, how bout you shut the frack up cause i'm a pimp, yo..."

she smack me in that face. i told her "i dont love you any more." i cry myself to sleep that night. that next morning i felt better as if the sun was extra bright and glowee. i skiprd breakfast because it was almost time for lunch anyway. i started walking to my studio. there is a forest between me and my studio, so i take my machete every time, incase i have to defend myself against the creature that live in that forest like squirrels or raccoons, never mind. natures little ninjas.  so i'm half way to my studio , it's an awesome studio with a cool leather couch that is nice and worn in with a cold beer( rolling rock extra pale,  i like the horse on the bottle its silk screened) waiting for me, when i see,with my peripherals, something dark and black following me in the bushes. i don't remember if i yelled.  i didn't stick around to find out what it was . i run . i moved through the trees and undergrowth like the dude in apocalypto. i never found what that thing was. i think i was the coocooy, he is the mexican boogie man.

the short answer to the question ,"what do i want to be when i grow up ",is: i going to be twenty three on the twenty third and  i know is that all i know is that Isaac newton had already discovered gravity , Einstein what all come up with the theory of relativity , and Jean Mitchell Basquiat was already hanging out with Andy Warhol by that time they were twenty three. i guess im just a late bloomer.

 im kind of like a "jack of all trades master of none" but more like a "Renissance man" in that respect. Shut up.  Boom! for real.

Dicipline Time

i have been experimenting all semester with my work , and now that my review is getting closer it's time to start finishing what I have made intuitively with a little deliberate action.  

being deliberate, for me, takes effort and discipline.  It's not very fun and it's difficult. An intuitive way of working will only take you so far.  

i aspire to be or express many ideas in my work, but i can do them all i one piece or in one series.  it's will only be expressed at the end  when i die and someone sees the my life's work in its entirety.

music

Evolution

it is my stubourness that dosen't allow me to fail. 

failure is a natural part

 of growing and  progression, it is evolution.

i dont fail at the end of the completion

 of a art piece, i fail in the middle or 

in the begginig.

like a over protective parent, once i

 reach the maturity of the artwork, 

i wont let the work be itself. 

i want it to be better, greater,the best.

i push it to be what it could never be.

Inland Empire

the darkness 

brings things 

together 

the light 

separates 

them.

the quite makes 

everything one.

the sound makes distances 

between

them.

heat adds things

together.

the cold concentrates

them.

magnets pull

and push electrons.

Lynchian is style in which the use of darkness and confusion of unilinear story progression to unify, as the glue between, the realm of dreams, uncertainty,& reality that exists in a movie and how it relates to the real reality. 

This film spilled over into my reality. 

When we went in , at the beginning, there was still light out. when we came out it was night. 

Night from day. i was walking the in quite version of world , but still there was sound. there was nobody on campus. Except for us but nobody was really talking. i could hear every sound now.  i wondered if the sounds were fabricated. The light everywhere seemed different. maybe, it was just because i had just spent three hours in a dark room. i felt as if everything had a hidden secret meaning. i was in the  stairwell expecting something to happen , if  i walked through a door ,maybe this time, it would lead me somewhere else. 

i felt really weird for awhile after this video